After being persecuted for two decades for her beliefs, Aung San Suu Kyi won a seat in Myanmar?s parliament by an apparent landslide. NBC?s Ian Williams reports.
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The question of whenever a partnership is dedicated is a source of significantly confusion and debate. We live in a time once the marriage rate is likely down, the co-habitation price is really going up, and also the majority of first-born kids are now born to unmarried mother and father.
Within this write-up I hope to shed some mild on this question to facilitate your work with partners and individuals challenged by various perceptions in the standing of their relationships.
Commitment VS. Promise
I lately had a conversation using a girl who told me she had just damaged off a ?committed? connection. A few questions later on I learned that she had been dating this person to get a 12 months, they had been not living with each other, along with the purpose she broke it off is the fact that he ?cheated.?
We talked about pre-committed vs. committed associations, and she agreed that it had been a pre-committed romantic relationship, but insisted that they had made a ?commitment? to one another.
Okay, items are receiving clearer. Over the one hand would be the status in the relationship- pre-committed vs. dedicated, and however are commitments created within the connection. Macro vs. micro. Two distinct things, correct?
In our discussion, it occurred to me to create a distinction among a ?Commitment? vs. a ?Promise.? They produced a promise to each other within the context of the partnership which was not dedicated. That distinction seemed to assist her make extra sensation of items.
When I asked the RCI coaches for comments around the ?commitment vs. promise? distinction, most felt that it was just semantics and there is certainly not substantially of a distinction. The general consensus was that if you make a promise you happen to be creating a dedication.
Nicely, I consent that it truly is a question of semantics, and right here is my definition of terms and conditions:
Promise: Verbally mentioned future intention to carry out a precise act.
- I guarantee to choose up your dry cleaning rather than overlook this time ? I promise to be unique inside our relationship
Commitment: Both a Truth shown by habits, and an Frame of mind consisting of feelings and beliefs.
- I am dedicated to trying to keep my promises ? Im dedicated to our romantic relationship
In brief, a guarantee is one thing you say, and a dedication is something you do. A promise is situation-specific. A dedication is contextual.
A guarantee is usually a smaller dedication. If a prospective partner does not preserve guarantees, Id question their ability to keep commitments, as they may be undoubtedly connected.
CONFUSION ABOUT Commitment
No matter if or not you agree with my semantics, the distinction I created among a dedication and also a guarantee was useful for the above conversation.
The larger picture even though, is the fact that I see lots of confusion concerning the status of modern day associations. Some years in the past when I coined the term ?pre-commitment? to describe partners that had been exclusive but not yet committed, it had been a helpful distinction, however the query remains- ?What is dedication??
Once you are married, it is actually distinct you happen to be inside a committed romantic relationship. Your commitment is usually a lawful contract and a publicly witnessed Truth. Nevertheless, it is popular for couples in trouble for one or both partners to get an uncommitted Mindset.
I have talked with a lot of unmarried people today, as the girl above, whove explained on their own in ?committed relationships.? They clearly possess the attitude, but frequently have absolutely nothing but verbal promises (and often not even that!) to exhibit the romantic relationship is dedicated.
IN MY Opinion, You will be -NOT- Inside a Dedicated Romantic relationship IF:
1. Your companion just isnt conscious your relationship is committed
2. You happen to be asking yourself if this partnership is committed
3. You and your partner have differences of opinion about the status of the relationship
4. Your family members and good friends have distinctive perceptions about the status of your connection
5. You and your companion havent acted to explicitly formalize your dedication in a few way
6. Youre relying on verbal guarantees without a substantial monitor document of them being stored
A commitment is explicit and unambiguous. A dedication can be a formal occasion of some sort in between two persons. A commitment is something you DO over time. A genuine commitment is typically legally enforceable and youll find penalties for breaking it.
And, for any connection to become actually dedicated, there are actually no exits- mentally, emotionally, or physically. When the really going will get tough, you allow it to be work.
CONTINUUM OF Dedication
Dedication just isnt a mild swap that goes from ?off? to ?on.? When building a romantic relationship with somebody, the degree of dedication progressively will increase.
Then you have all the shades of gray. living together, dating exclusively for far more than a 12 months, even engaged to become married, that may possibly look and feel like commitment, but can it be genuinely?
Reality VS. Frame of mind
Commitment inside a romantic relationship is difficult in that it takes two people today, and it requires an alignment of Fact (activities, steps) and Attitude (feelings, beliefs) for both of them.
It truly is common to be dedicated in reality (e.g. ?married?) although not in mindset (e.g. ?Im not confident this really is the right partnership for me?).
It is actually also common to become pre-committed actually (e.g. dating solely) and dedicated in frame of mind (e.g. ?This is The A single! ?).
In my work with partners Ive found that the most significant variable figuring out their future achievement is their level of dedication for the partnership.
In my encounter, when partners are committed the truth is, although not in attitude, their prognosis is inadequate.
Then, youll find the pre-committed partners that commonly drop into two categories-
UNCONSCIOUS- generally following the ?mini-marriage? design of trying the relationship out, acting dedicated without having basically producing the dedication. A disconnect of truth and attitude.
CONSCIOUS- conscious that they may be not but dedicated, usually have commitment like an aim, asking by themselves ?Is this the correct romantic relationship for me? Should I produce a dedication?? An alignment of reality and frame of mind.
Summary
So, when can be a relationship committed?
? When theres an alignment of fact and mindset.
What generates the ?fact? of dedication?
I propose these three criterion:
Requirements #1: Guarantees produced to each other concerning the permanent nature in the partnership that happen to be kept
Criteria #2: Explicit, formal, public declaration
Standards #3: Unambiguous to partners and others
In modern globe, if all 3 from the over are satisfied, Id say it is actually a committed romantic relationship, regardless of whether officially married or not.
I sincerely hope this post helps address the popular questions about commitment that crop up in relationship coaching. You can find no pat answers or prescriptions, but it is my hope that these tips and ideas will help you have effective discussions with your clientele that are caught inside the grey locations to support them to make helpful connection options.
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Do you ever feel like you should be doing better?in life than you are right now, especially considering?how much effort you put in??Does it sometimes feel like you output so much?time and energy but just don?t get any closer to?your goals??Well I?ve got something important to share with you?
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The truth is, sometimes hard workers don?t always?get the rewards they deserve. It?s a harsh truth but?maybe you?ve seen this too??Maybe, like me, you?ve seen how some people are?able to maintain a perfect body without any real effort??Maybe you?ve known men and women who are?barely putting any hours on the clock and yet they?re?still rolling in the dough?
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I know I?ve always had these same questions, and?I?m excited to share that Natalie has made an incredible?discovery that gives anyone the ability to achieve any?goal, without having to put in so much hard work.?Don?t worry, she?s going to share her secret discovery?with you too?on her upcoming ?tell-all? training Webinar.
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Mounting debt-related issues can overwhelm and dominate people?s lives. Causes for seemingly insurmountable personal debt are often unrelated to spending habits: loss of employment; uninsured medical bills; litigation; divorce; and catastrophic loss. The consequences of cascading creditor demands can drastically impact the family environment and are certainly crafted to impart severe stress on the delinquent party. So before you toss bills in a drawer, it may be time to adjust your debt strategies and consider credit counseling. In 2002, more than two million Americans sought assistance from credit-counseling agencies, according to a Georgetown University survey.
When do you need help?
How should you determine whether you need help? Credit counselors say there are several symptoms which indicate that someone needs a ?debt doctor.? They include:
Not being able to make more than the minimum payment on credit cards.
Using credit to pay for items you previously purchased with cash such as food and gas.
Satisfying credit card minimums by charging them to other cards.
Being vulnerable to financial emergencies, such as car repairs, that could be devastating.
Never seeing an improvement in your finances year after year.
Worrying about money.
The experts agree that the determinant is not how much you owe, but how the debt affects you. Your debt load could be $ 1,000, and that could feel pretty severe. Essentially, you should seek help when you start feeling distressed.
Where do you turn?
When you?ve decided to seek help, there are plenty of places to turn to. If you can?t afford hourly fees to hire a certified financial planner, the most highly recommended services are nonprofit debt counseling agencies.
Nonprofits generate most of their money through voluntary contributions from clients, small fees and funding from creditors, which enable these organizations to provide assistance to thousands of people each year at little or no cost to the clients. The nonprofits? relationship with the debt community has an added benefit: They can often negotiate better rates with those same creditors on your behalf. Lenders support the agencies because they are helping them get their money back. Some creditors will reduce or waive finance charges and stop charging late fees to customers who sign up for a debt management program with a nonprofit credit counselor.
Debt management plans are generally for people whose bills can be wiped out in four years or less. The National Foundation for Consumer Credit (NFCC), a nonprofit counseling agency, says its average client is 36 years old, makes $ 32,000 a year and has $ 23,000 in unsecured debt. However, there are people whose situations are so dire that they are turned away from counseling agencies. For instance, if you just got out of college, are unemployed and have $ 85,000 in credit card debt, the NFCC would probably advise you to seek legal services.
That?s where for-profit companies often come in. They negotiate settlements with creditors for people who are on the brink of bankruptcy or have been sued. Their average client is $ 30,000 to $ 40,000 in debt and has been turned down by counseling services because they can?t meet the minimum payment requirements.
For-profit companies work on contingency fees, meaning the client pays only if a settlement can be reached. The advantages: you get out of debt much quicker, usually within a year or two; and you avoid bankruptcy. The disadvantages: you may have to liquidate a valuable asset such as your home or retirement savings; and a quick fix might not change bad habits like a long-term payoff plan would.
Implications for bankruptcy alternatives
Presently, there is legislation going through Congress to revise the bankruptcy code that will make it harder for people to file for Chapter 7 or 13 by requiring them to undergo debt counseling first. Because bankruptcies have risen dramatically, the banking industry, particularly credit card companies, have pushed heavily for this new legislation. President Bush is expected to sign the bill into law if it ever reaches his desk. Here are the highlights:
To encourage debt counseling over filing for bankruptcy, those thinking about filing must obtain a briefing about credit counseling services not more than 180 days before filing.
Debtors who earn more than the median income earned in their state must pass a means test in order to file Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Currently, the national median income for a family of four is $ 60,000. Secured debt and necessities (alimony, child support, living expenses, etc.) are subtracted from the debtor?s monthly income to determine what is left over for repayment of unsecured debt. If it is determined that a debtor can pay the lesser of $ 10,000 over a 60 month period, or 25 percent of his debt (which must be at least $ 6,000), then he must file Chapter 13 bankruptcy. If the debtor does not pass the means test, he can file Chapter 7 just as with the old law and have much of his unsecured debt erased.
If the debtor?s income is greater than the median in his state, then he must submit to a means test to determine if he must file under Chapter 13 or Chapter 7. The means test is done by subtracting mortgage and auto payments; alimony, child support, other secured debt and reasonable living expenses (food, utilities, etc.) from monthly income. Unsecured debt, such as credit card payments, is not subtracted.
The amount that is left over each month after paying debts and living expenses is used to determine if one must file under Chapter 7 or Chapter 13. If he files under Chapter 13, the bankruptcy court will set up a budget for him so that he can repay his debt over a five-year period. If the debtor doesn?t pay according to the plan, the court can dismiss the case and his creditors can once again resume collection efforts.
If a debtor can?t pay according to the plan because of unemployment, a change in income, illness, etc., then he can petition the court for a revised plan or even have his debts discharged completely. If the debtor?s income drops below that used in the means test above, the bankruptcy can be converted from a Chapter 13 to a Chapter 7.
Regardless of whether one files Chapter 7 or Chapter 13, there is a requirement to take a financial management course given by a debt counseling service in order to discharge the bankruptcy.
How do you choose a counselor?
Search carefully before you pick a firm. There are no federal regulations governing credit-counseling agencies, and few states have laws for licensing, bonding or regulating debt-counseling firms. That means that anyone can start a credit counseling or debt consolidation firm.
Another point to remember is that most debt-counseling companies are set up as non-profit corporations. Debt-counseling firms will tell you that their company is not-for-profit because they only want to help consumers. But don?t let that fool you into thinking you are getting an advocate fighting solely for your financial freedom. One reason credit-counseling companies choose this tax status is because it allows them to avoid the expense of posting a bond in a state that would otherwise require them to ensure that consumers funds are secured.
Ask if the organization belongs to any professional groups such as the NFCC or the Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies, both of which establish professional and training standards. Have them explain how they?re audited and if your funds are protected. Ask for references and check for consumer complaints filed with your state?s Attorney General?s office and/or the Better Business Bureau.
Before enrolling, it?s best to find out upfront exactly what services you?ll receive. Credit counseling organizations usually have a variety of programs and resources ? from online chat rooms, self-help publications and community seminars to one-on-one counseling, long-term debt management programs and budgeting advice. The more services they offer you, the better help you?ll get. It?s good to have them put it all in writing and send you the information before you proceed.
Keep in mind that any agency offering you a debt-management plan in less than 20 minutes hasn?t spent enough time looking at your finances. An effective counseling session, whether on the phone or in person, takes a significant amount of time.
Avoid so-called credit repair services that say you can erase negative credit report information or obtain new credit by using a newly obtained federal tax ID number versus your Social Security number. This is simply illegal.
Privacy is usually not an issue, but it?s wise to check that the agency?s policy is not to sell your information to for-profit groups.
How much will you pay?
It is extremely important that you nail down the fees, if any, that the agency charges. The Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies tells members that services must be available to the public regardless of ability to pay.
Generally, there may be a fee to set up a debt-management plan and a monthly fee or ?requested donation? to maintain the plan. The Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies requires its member agencies to limit to $ 75 the fees to set up a debt management plan. It states that the maximum fees, or requested donations, for monthly maintenance of a plan shouldn?t exceed $ 50.
In 2001, the average cost to provide budget-counseling sessions was $ 14. The average enrollment fee for a debt-management plan was $ 19, and the average fee for monthly debt management plan services was $ 12.
Avoid programs that charge 100 percent of the first month?s payment. Some even add on a monthly charge for each account included in the debt-management program. If your monthly payment is $ 350 and you have eight credit-card accounts, this can add up to more than $ 1,000 in the first year.
Some agencies will tell you that their fees are voluntary, but then will pressure you to pay the fees in full. If that happens to you, go somewhere else. Don?t be pressured to pay up. If the agency is vague or reluctant to talk about specific fees, walk away.
How do you develop a debt management plan?
Once you?ve found a service you trust, the next step is to organize all of your bills before talking to a credit counselor. The counselor will figure out what you owe and work with you to determine how much you can pay each month. Then, instead of writing checks to each creditor, you?ll write one to the service, which will then distribute the money. The goal is to develop a plan that allows you to afford the necessities of life and whittle away at the balances you owe at the same time.
Once you?re in a program, the much-dreaded phone calls from creditors should stop. Creditors do have a right to call you and talk to you about your debt but if you arrange acceptable payment programs, they?re usually not going to waste their time.
After you?ve set up a payment schedule, the counselor will talk to creditors and try to get them to reduce your interest rates and waive late fees to shorten your time in debt. The counselor may also coax creditors to ?re-age? your account, which means reporting past due amounts as current. Once they accept your debt-management proposal and receive three months of payments on time, creditors are more willing to accept those terms.
How do you learn how to manage your money?
Once you?re on your way to paying off your old debt, you?ll need to set up a budget. Credit counselors can help with that as well. Most people don?t know how much they spend each day ? you may remember about the big-ticket items, the rent and the utility bills, but you may lose track of how much you spend on extras like restaurants, dry cleaners and video rentals.
Counselors can help you track your spending. They?ll teach you to record what you pay right down to the newspaper and bagel you grab on your way to work. Many counseling services can show you how your spending habits stack up to those of a ?typical? American with your income. They?re trained to walk debtors through every category and come up with an acceptable budget. Then counselors will check in with clients for several months to see how well they?re sticking to their spending plan.
What are the disadvantages of debt counseling?
If you?ve managed to keep your credit report clean as your debts have spiraled, there can be a downside to contacting a credit counselor. Not every creditor looks upon your involvement with one as a good thing. While many creditors think it?s great because it increases their chances of getting paid, others might issue an alert on your credit report. That could affect your chances of getting credit down the road.
Some mortgage lenders say that getting involved in debt management programs can harm prospective homebuyers? credit reports. This happens when the individual signs up and makes a monthly payment to the credit counselor, who then sends the payment a month later, or worse, keeps it as the initial ?voluntary contribution.? That causes the creditors to report a ?late-payment status? on each account involved ? something mortgage lenders frown on. Also, consumers need to know that the words ?Managed by Credit Counseling Company? will appear under each account on their credit report enrolled in a debt management program.
Regardless of the method you choose to beat the bills, there is no guarantee that your credit rating can be saved. But advisers agree that a person in debt should not focus on that. Good credit is what gets a lot of people in trouble in the first place, and oftentimes they?ll have to sacrifice that in order to get the job done.
What happens next?
Fear sometimes propels people to fall for fix-it scams such as credit repair, title or payday loans, and advance-fee loans. The only sure and solid way to repair a credit history is over time, by paying bills when they are due and making sure your credit report contains correct information. It?s best to seek help sooner rather than later. There is no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed. Everybody has credit card debt, but you can take a brave step forward to learn how you can manage it better for the rest of your life.
About Credit.Com
Credit.Com, headquartered in San Francisco, was co-founded in 1995 by Adam Levin, a former director of the New Jersey Division of Consumer Affairs, to give consumers access to accurate, trustworthy credit resources. The Credit.Com network provides consumers with vital products and services to help them build, protect, and maintain healthy credit. Credit.Com offers a full suite of loan, mortgage, credit, debt, tax, and other financial resources. Credit.Com can be reached at toll-free at 877-273-4273 or via its website at http://www.credit.com. (http://www.credit.com)
?2003 Credit.Com, Inc. All rights reserved
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HAVANA (AP) ? A Cuban intelligence agent on probation after imprisonment in the United States arrived on Friday for a two-week visit to see his ailing brother in Cuba, where authorities consider him and four other agents national heroes.
Rene Gonzalez, one of the so-called Cuban Five spies arrested in 1998, flew to the island around noon for a "private family visit," according to an official note read on the news. It repeated his previous vows to return to the U.S. to serve out the rest of his probation.
"Our people welcome our beloved Rene to the country and will not cease in the struggle for his definitive return, along with his four dear brothers," a state newscaster said, reading from the official statement.
Cuba appeared set on downplaying Gonzalez's return, with no footage of an airport greeting or mass welcoming ceremony like the ones that greeted young raft survivor Elian Gonzalez ? no relation ? upon his return from Florida in 2000. Word of his arrival did not come until he was already here, and was the last item on the midday news.
The Cuban Five were convicted of spying on Cuban exiles in South Florida and trying to infiltrate military installations and political campaigns. Havana says they were only trying to keep tabs on violent exile groups who unleashed a bombing campaign on the island that killed an Italian tourist. The other four agents are still behind bars.
Rene Gonzalez was freed in October but was ordered to remain in the U.S. for three years under terms of his supervised release, a ruling that angered Cuban authorities.
But on March 19, U.S. District Judge Joan Lenard granted Gonzalez, a dual U.S.-Cuban citizen, permission for a two-week trip to see his brother, who is gravely ill with cancer.
Lenard ordered Gonzalez to give a detailed itinerary of the trip including addresses and phone numbers, and to remain in regular contact with his probation officer. He has two weeks from the date of his departure to return to Florida.
Philip Horowitz, Gonzalez's attorney in Miami, said his client does not want to do anything that could jeopardize the cases of the other Cuban Five or turn him into an international fugitive.
"He is going to follow that order to the letter," Horowitz said. "Like I said from the beginning, this has nothing to do with politics. It's a humanitarian visit."
Lenard's ruling came despite the U.S. Justice Department's objections that Gonzalez might have contact with Cuban intelligence agents and get new covert tasks to perform once he returned to the U.S.
Gonzalez's return could renew hope for Alan Gross, the U.S. government subcontractor serving 15 years in a Cuban prison.
Gross was sentenced under a Cuban statute governing crimes against the state after bringing restricted communications equipment onto the island. He says he was just helping the country's Jewish community improve its Internet connection, but Cuba contends the goals of the USAID program were ultimately aimed at overthrowing the government.
Though officials in Washington and Havana have repeatedly insisted that Gross and the Cuban Five are separate cases, some have expressed hope that a humanitarian swap might be arranged.
Gross' mother and daughter also have been fighting cancer, and he has asked to be allowed to travel to visit them. Like Gonzalez, he has promised to return.
___
Associated Press Legal Affairs Writer Curt Anderson in Miami contributed to this report.
___
Follow Peter Orsi on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Peter(underscore)Orsi.
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These days it requires up to $ 10,000 for remodeling of your bathroom. Owners of the house are opting for more ornate and spacious bathroom. In addition, there must be a stone floor and numerous showerheads. If you can increase your budget a more little, then you can get a jetted tub or a marble shower. There are lots of options that can provide you with heightened style without increasing your overall budget.
The very first and best thing to start with is the paint. Adding some splash of colors to your bathroom can actually do wonders. One thing which is in great demand nowadays is changing the color of walls to airy and light hue. Some of the best options you can have are light purples, blues, and neutral colors. Since all these colors convey a soothing and calming sensation, thus they are perfect for you and you can feel relaxed and calm in your bathroom.
Another way to quickly change the look of your bathroom is changing the fixtures and faucets. Just add some splash of style to gadgets and other fixtures in your bathroom and enjoy the perfect look of your bathroom. One of the trends which convey a very classy and rich feel is to upgrade your bathroom with brushed brass fixtures.
In today?s life, the prime area of concentration for a lavishing bathroom is the shower. If you want to have a bath tub, then you can find 3 types of bath tub like walk-in tubs, free-standing tubs, and drop-in tubs. Some of the homeowners are going for air-jet tubs as it provides a massaging and therapeutic effect. ?
If all these options are not sufficient for you, then you can go for some simple upgrades like putting a high window at the top of your shower or bath as it allows natural light to enter and you can enjoy the shower with a pleasing mood. Additionally, you can also consider for changing your tiles and tub. If anything is becoming dingy or is accumulated over so many years, then feel no hesitation in changing that thing. You can also consider for adding the luxurious shower head like massaging shower head for an additional touch.
The last and most important element that distinguishes well-designed bathroom from the normal bathroom is flooring and lighting. Flooring should be upgraded with tiles and natural stones. This thing not only pleases the people but also give a lavishing look to your bathroom.
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