A Woman's Catholic Journey: Born Gay...Or Not

When doing a simple Google search I found thousands upon thousands of articles about why people are gay. ?Some of the articles were written by noted psychologists, psychiatrists, physicians, physicists, Gay Rights leaders, Bloggers, Joe-Down-The-Street and housewives. In other words, lots of opinions have been weighed in on and many are purported as facts.

Some "experts" say gays and lesbians are simply "born that way." They claim it's a biological and therefore genetic reason for homosexuality. Other "experts" say it's a choice and should be allowed to flourish as merely that: a lifestyle choice.

Back in my days as a lesbian, I had numerous gay friends. I spent a great deal of time witnessing their lives and can only share my experiences.

Over 90% of my male gay friends had fathers who could not or would not show them affection. Male affection was something they craved and led them to homosexual relationships. Some of my friends admitted this about themselves and others didn't, but I was surprised at how many of them grew up with fathers who would not hug or kiss them.

Most of my female lesbian friends were either abused by their fathers or other adult male figures in their growing up years, or they were raised by single mother's who hated either their father or the other men who would come into their lives.

Others of my lesbian friends suffered bad relationships in their younger years and turned to women for the comfort and affection they needed. I remember one friend in particular who was very much in love with a young man whom she was engaged to. Then he told her he felt a calling to become a priest and left her very bitter and angry at men and God and the church. Up to that point (in her late twenties) she had never even considered getting romantically involved with women, but after that experience, she did.

I recently spoke with a gentleman who said as a boy he was very feminine and thought he was supposed to be a girl and started to force his attraction to men. Instead of his parents embracing it OR denying it, they took him to see their family doctor who sent them to an?endocrinologist?who discovered hormonal imbalances. With proper treatment and a doctor and family who cared, he became the man he was meant to be and is now happily married (to a woman) with several children and said he's so thankful his parents didn't just give up and let him grow up wanting to be a woman and live a miserable, disordered life.

A gay male friend of mine sent me a recent appeal from the United States District Court for the Northern District of California (Civil Action No. 3:10-cv-00257-JSW). First it lists all of the appeals filed and legislation. After that comes pages and pages of referenced articles about the positive aspects of homosexual lifestyles, including "statistics" on same-sex marriages, raising children by same-sex parents, etc. The article doesn't begin until page 11 and it starts with the?California Psychological Association and goes on to say that the American Psychiatric Association supports the legal recognition of same-sex marriage with all rights, benefits, and responsibilities conferred by civil marriage, and opposes restrictions to those same rights, benefits, and responsibilities.

After that it immediately refers to the National Association of Social Workers and goes on to say?NASW and its California Chapter (also an Amicus herein) support full social and legal acceptance of lesbian, gay, and bisexual people.

And if these two organizations aren't good enough, they claim the American Medical Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics is in support of their appeal.

So now we know a group of California psychologists and social workers, along with select members of the AMA and AAP, support same-sex marriage equality.

My friend prefaced the article with:


You might find this amicus brief for the same-sex marriage issue to be informative reading. Unfortunately, most religious zealots consider themselves to be more of an expert on the subject than people who?ve devoted many years of education and training and much research to studying it. Catholics also consider the priests of their church, who ignore the mountain of scientific evidence amassed in recent decades on the subject in favor of the writings of desert pastoralists from thousands of years ago, to be the ultimate authorities on the subject of all. But no matter how informed and ?correct? they thinks they are, the experts disagree. But they would never in a million years admit that.

I merely thanked my friend for sending the article and decided not to get into a "debate" with him since he's an atheist for we have no common ground for a discussion. It's easy to find an "expert" who says what you want them to say. We can provide the same from our vantage point.

The missing link here is what God says and not man. The Catholic Church will never change their stance on something that is a mortal sin in the eyes of God. You can package it any way you like, but it doesn't change the truth.

The truth is what set ME free. When I no longer looked at being a lesbian as the norm for me and something I needed to embrace, I was able to work with a counselor on why I turned to women for affection. It was very easy to figure out as I had a father who abused and abandoned me and a succession of men in my young life who caused me trauma and grief. I was afraid of men and therefore turned to females. But I was never happy and felt as if I was forcing that lifestyle on myself.

It took over 30 years to come to grips with the truth within me. I was not born gay. I am not gay. I chose to live a deviant lifestyle but it brought me grief and confusion.

The truth truly has set me free!

Source: http://ddhartjourney.blogspot.com/2012/08/born-gayor-not.html

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